Friday, March 30, 2012


You know the old joke (which I still don't get)  What's a henweigh?  Well here's my question, and it's not a joke....what does two ovaries, two Fallopian tubes, an appendicts and a twenty week pregnant size uterus weigh?


When I look in my special  mirror, I see Kim Kardashian.....when I see pictures of myself, I see Rosanne Barr.  Actually I relate most with  that cartoon character from BC.
I'm the one on the far left where my boobs and my ass really make my back hurt. 

Seriously, I was feeling kind of good, felt like my pants may be a bit more loose and I decided to weigh myself.  Let me talk about my scale for just one second.....I'm not lying, it was a wedding gift to my mom and dad Circa 1956....but do you know the darn thing is as accurate as the Dr.'s scale?  OK back to bitching......I weighed myself and I weigh the EXACT same as I did prior to surgery.  HOW???? 
If someone can explain this please do, because there is no logical reason for it. 

The same day I weigh myself there is a facebook post from one of my friends (you know who you are) that said (I'm paraphrasing here) 

"I went on vacation last week and ate myself into oblivion.  Weighed myself today and I've lost 10 lbs."

Shut up OK?  Just shut up!  You were a skinny bitch in high school and will always be just shut up.  (kind of just kidding here Jody)  Maybe I have a fat gene that was passed down from generation to generation......not my fault.    Tape worm?  probably not.....addiction to food?  Sounds to harsh.  Love of fine cuisine.....probably.  Social eater? definitely.

Still, when you lose 4 or five organs, how can you weigh the same?

I go to Dr. Happy next can bet I'm going to ask. 

Thursday, March 29, 2012


This is a re-run but, it's one we all need to remember.  Real men and women, real wives, real moms and dads and real children....left behind so the one they love most can go serve their country. They say time is our friend, however from where I stand  It doesn't get any easier.  In fact I think it gets worse. For the first time since he's been gone, Taylor cried real tears off and on this weekend for her dad.  She's missing him so badly.  Ben has approx 217 days left, that sounds like an eternity for an adult, let alone a kid.  I prefer to count holidays.  There are approx 7 or 8 and that's counting Taylor's birthday and Ben and Sam's anniversary.  (which incidently is next week) 

I remember that March day when Ben deployed.  I remember the tears, the hugs, the crying children as their moms or dads walked to the bus.  I remember the sense of pride we all had for these men and women and especially Ben.  We also look forward with great anticipation to the welcome home we will give them when they return.  It will be better than any Christmas!

To all who have served, and is currently serving to those who gave the ultimate price... their lives, we say thank you.  Thank you is not enough, but we can pay it forward by always remembering what paid the price for our freedom....It was the lives and service of others. 

Geez, after an uber emotional day Tuesday, I still have so many thoughts going through my head.  I find writing therapuetic so please hang with me because this post is going to be all over the place.  ( it also should be the last one on this terribly emotional day!)

First, let me say, I knew it would be a hard day.  I had put it in the background of my mind knowing it was something that was coming up and I knew it would be difficult...However, as an observer, it turns out it was much harder than imagined.  First, let me say we love Ben and we are sad he's gone, but that wasn't the only part that was so hard.  What really makes it difficult is to see the pain in the people you love most.   I know Ben was glad that his family was there but his concern, grief, tears, and heartache was for Samantha and Taylor.  Leaving the rest of us, though not pleasant, was nothing compared to leaving his wife and child.  As a parent to one of these two, let me tell you it's heart wrenching to watch.

Second, when you look around at 170 people preparing to deploy and saying their last goodbye's it makes your heart heavy.  There was a child within feet of us sobbing/shreeking/yelling, I'm not sure what the right word is,  for her daddy who had just walked out to get on the bus.  I'm not sure of her age, probably six or seven.  She was old enough to know that her dad would not be around for a very long time.  One of Ben's  cousins gave her one of the Army dolls they were passing out. She hadn't received one so I believe it brought a little smile to her face. She will probably never have to be told or taught how to respect those who serve... she received that lesson early in life.   For the group I was with, this experience will be something words CANNOT explain or describe and second we will never forget. 

I think we as humans don't seem to truly understand things until it touches our lives.  Which makes us I guess not too bright.  There are several things that I learned yesterday.  Though there were 170 men/women being deployed in this particular unit, attached to those 170 are many many others who love them dearly and are also sacrificing.  Though it's true that the United States Military is volunteer, to me that even speaks louder than anything about our troops.  Ben had told me a year or so ago, that he really didn't want to "get out" of deploying because he wanted to serve.  He didn't want to get out of the service without actually doing something.

Well, here we are......through the heart ache, tears, missed holidays, missed birthday celebrations, missed family gatherings, there will be a  HUGE celebration in a year.  I believe this particular homecoming is going to be spectacular and none of us can wait....Especially Sam and Taylor.   God bless our service men and women both past and future and the families that sacrifice for that service!

Wednesday, March 28, 2012


Taylor Waiving her Flag for Daddy

If you have never been to a Call To Duty ceremony, I'm not going to far as the ceremony itself, it's kind of dry.  The highlights are when the troops come in in formation with the military band playing and the singing of the National Anthem.  This post is a positive and a negative:

The Positive:

The positive I noticed in this ceremony is they kept God in it.  We prayed.  I don't know if the name of Jesus was mentioned, I honestly didn't notice, but we prayed to God.  Any day now I expect to see a facebook post about a movement to remove God from deployment ceremonies.  Until that happens, I was happy God was still welcome.

The Negative: 

You know those politicians we elect?  You know the ones who sit in nice offices all day and meddle in our lives, waste tons of money and believe they are God...yea you know none of them were at the ceremony yesterday?  I honestly don't remember the names of who were supposed to be there.  The only one I remember, because I recognized the name, was Sherrod Brown, but there were at least three others who were invited, but didn't show. 

I know, I know, they had more important things to do and I also realize we have way too many deployment ceremonies in the state of OHIO and attending every one of them is virtually impossible.  (Prior sentence is pure sarcasm, please there are probably two, I really don't know)   I can't even bash a particular party here.  Republicans were in office when the war started and most Democrats are against the war, yet neither were willing to show up and represent. I believe Gov. Kasich should have been there.  It's not like these things aren't on the calendar in advance and he represents the entire state. 

 Yep, our representatives didn't represent.  NICE!!  No, instead they sent the Reps of the Reps, who read letters/speeches that who knows who wrote.  I doubt that reps write their own material, that's why we hire speech writers right? 

One of the best quotes yesterday was from a rep of a rep and he said...."What I was given to read is way too long so I'm going to shorten it so families can spend more time with one another before the buses pull away"  Applause broke out. 

In one way, I guess we would have been more bored to hear what these people may have spewed, but on the other hand not showing up speaks volumes.  Supporting our troops in an election campaign speech is hardly the same as being there.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


You know what made today so hard, much harder than even I anticipated?  The pictures below pretty much sum it up.

I have more to say, but it will keep until tomorrow after a good nights sleep.  Stay safe Ben a lot of people are going to be missing you!!



Today is the day we actually say good bye.  There will be tears and lots of them.  It's kind of hard for us to hold opposing views.  We have both heavy hearts, yet great pride.  It will be an honor to participate in the  Call To Duty today and bid our soldiers fairwell.  As I wrote below in an earlier post,  please let's continue to pray for all our troops and their families.  Those of you who have been through it already know how hard it is.  As I said below.....“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.” 

We will all miss you Ben, we have the home front covered, you worry about you. Be safe and smart.  Keep that sense of humor up until the point it gets you in trouble :)  We know how you are!

We love you!!

Original Post:Last night we attended a going away party for our Son In Law Ben.   He has a month before he leaves for Texas and then after being there a couple months he will be heading for Afghanistan.    His unit will be away for one year. 

I think about Taylor because she is just a little girl and daddy is like an overgrown kid that LOVES to play with her.   Ben's middle name is patience when it comes to Taylor.  He is a wonderful father.  The only consolation is due to advanced technology they will at least be able to see each other technologically and talk to each other that way.  I'm kind of stupid to admit this, but I don't think I realized how badly this deployment stuff sucks until it's one of yours.  It truly does make you stop and think of the people who fought in prior wars and gave so much for the freedoms we have today. 

Samantha, will be OK of course, but will have the additional burden of being a single mother. The last couple times that Ben has left for training a couple weeks at a time, she notices small behavior changes in Taylor.  She becomes extremely attached to Sam and kind of clingy.  Sam is fortunate she is close to both of her siblings and everyone will be there for her including her dad and I and Taylor's other grandparents Pam and Joe.

Even more I think about his momma, (and dad of course, but I'm writing this from a mother's perspective) who will be worried until the day he returns.  I can sit here and act like this affects me more, but there is no way I can trump a mother's love for her son.  I have always told my kids, NOBODY, ANYWHERE will love you more than I do.  The only person/deity that will love you more is God.   When kids grow up and and marry and start families of their own, we parents have to take a few steps back and respect the sanctity of marriage, but that does nothing to change the love, the worry, the concern, the joy and the hope we hold in our heart for our kids.  We will die caring for the very beings we created and were blessed enough to be chosen to be mothers to. So we will do what we can and pray and ask everyone else to pray. 

 Let's remember to keep our service men and women in our prayers. Pray for the families that are left behind or separated, for what seems like an  eternity, that God will give everyone courage, peace of heart and protection.  I believe in a very big God.  He is not weak and timid but is bold and strong.  One of my favorite quotes from Billy Graham is:

“The will of God will not take us where the grace of God cannot sustain us.”


Wednesday, March 21, 2012


The hysterectomy couch and chair arrived.  I really do like it.  Though I'm not a covetous person. I was gifted some money and this is what was truly needed.  (I don't even think we can GIVE the last couch away it's that bad)  I like to take care of what I'm blessed to have, but it never fails....the harder I try the worser it gets. ( yes, I know that's not a real word)

First the furniture arrived and as the truck was pulling away, I noticed that the chair had a bum leg.  The chair is a wing back type chair.  The leg looked so crooked that if you were to sit on it it would just snap.   I'm not a very irate person so I call to see what they can do for us and oh the best they can do is come look at it in a week.   Had we been difficult people we probably should have said, no, just bring us a new chair, but we really try to work with people.  The service guy came he and says "Yea, that leg is not right"  Gee thanks Sherlock, I believe I already solved that mystery.  He then says he will come back and get it in another week, take it to the shop, fix it and return it by the following week.  Apparently there is something magical about a "Week"   Now that I'm not dying, I guess I have nothing but time, so what's a week or two.

Then there's the damn dog.  I know, I know all you animal lovers, she's just a dog.  I want a dog that can talk like a human please.  She's not stupid, but I can't get her to read the memo concerning the new couch.  We humans, totally understand that we took away her bed, but we didn't just take it away with out replacing it with a more suitable bed for her. We got her a ginormous soft, plush doggie bed.  Other dogs would be so jealous if they saw this thing.  Granted it matches the decor of the room, but being the diva she is she should appreciate that.

 We have tried everything, from spreading the pillows out on the couch so she won't jump up, to when we go to bed we put a dining room chair on the couch and the chair that guarantees she won't get up on it.  This last trick however kind of ruins what I was trying to accomplish with the new couch to begin with. John heard that putting mouse traps up on the couch works, that seems a bit wrong to me.  I don't need turned into the humane society.  I've managed not to have the kids taken away I think I should be able to keep the dog.  

So dog lovers.....any suggestions?  Because She is obviously depressed over the situation:

Monday, March 19, 2012


This weekend we kept our granddaughter Taylor while mommy and daddy went on a weekend adventure.  This will be the last weekend together before Ben deploys.  (John did most the work, as I'm not quite up to three year old shenanigans yet)

  My kids were so very lucky to have wonderful grandparents.  I never had grandparents, I mean I had them, but they were way too old to take any interest in me or play with me.  So when our kids were fortunate to have a few sets, it was just fantastic.

It probably goes without saying that this is the house of no rules when it comes to Taylor.  As long as her "fun" doesn't include burning the house down or murdering us in our sleep (I sleep with one open) she can do whatever she wants. Friday night as Tay and I were laying in bed she told me her daddy didn't feed her at all that day and she had had nothing to eat all day.  Don't worry, I was onto her game.  The game of "I don't want to go to bed."  Here's the difference between my mom and I.  My mom would have TOTALLY believed the kid.  She would have had a frying pan in one hand scrambling eggs and the telephone in the other calling me and yelling about starving children.  I'm not exaggerating. 

I don't know if my kids did it on purpose (yes I do know and yes they did) they would get me in trouble about anything and everything.  If they spent the weekend at my parents I could count on a lecture by Monday morning about something.  It could be anything from "my mom won't buy me new shoes and mine have holes in them" to "mom didn't pay our school fees so we aren't getting our report cards"  The truth on that was we had written a check that never got delivered to the teacher.......NOT MY FAULT.  When they would go visit I would want to duct tape their mouths.  They had a knack of taking a thread of truth, something totally out of context and making it into something outrageous.  I could be screaming about wishing I lived in butt (bad bad word) Egypt and they would take that and tell Grandma we were going to vacation in a faraway land and planned on  putting them in an orphanage.  You get the idea.

With all that being said....I guess that's what families do.  We protect and love one another.  We are there in good times and bad.  Being a grandparent is totally different than being the parent.  I love watching my family gather around Taylor and loving her to death.  Is she spoiled?  probably, but in the end I don't think it will matter.  I thank God that she has two great parents and a lot of people who love her!

Friday, March 16, 2012


It's been two weeks since my surgery.  Here is something I guess I forgot to tell everyone and my BFF is not very happy about it and insists that I blog about it.

I received a call last Monday, OK not this last Monday but the Monday prior, from the oncologist office that
the results to all my biopsies were good.  I do not remember what I was doing or where I was when the call came through.  I remember thinking I wasn't going to answer the phone, but recognized the number as that of the oncologist.  I must have thought it best to answer.   The news was good, but at this point I wasn't worried because he told us the day of the surgery everything was fine. 

I didn't tell anyone about the phone call because I didn't know anyone was waiting on information.  the Ole BFF about had heart failure this week when somehow it came up in conversation and she asked when I would get the results. Then John chimes in that I didn't tell him either.  As soon as my mom reads this, she will also let me know I didn't tell her either.

Shelly, the BFF I'm referring to plays the game Tetris.  She told me that as she would play a game she would challenge herself ( I use that word "challenge" very very lightly)  that if her score would be something like 1500 I would be cured of cancer.  As much as I would like to thank her for fighting for a cure, I'm now finding out that you would have to SUCK at Tetris if your score is only 1500.  She has me hooked on it and I usually start failing around 15,000.  I believe my high score is 21,000 which probably isn't very good either.  So I'm suggesting if you have some life threatening problem you let me know and I will have Shelly play a game of Tetris for you.  PROBLEM SOLVED.

Bottom line:  I think I will just continue to rely on God for any healings...:)  Love you Shell!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I may have a malpractice addition to my female parts and my appendix, I believe the doctor also stole my funny bone.  God knows he needs one....but he could have taken my mothers, it would probably be a better match for him than mine.   I guess he doesn't find anything funny about cancer. 

I would like my humor back though please. I like laughing and finding humor in things. My goodness the more TV you listen to the more depressed you can become.  The women of the view even get on my nerves, mostly  just when Barbara Walters is on.  I would like to just reach through the TV and throttle her.  Whoopie would like do more than throttle her I can tell.  She gets on her last nerve.

Then you have all the name calling talking heads.  The Super right and the Super left and I am declaring myself a Super I don't Give a Crap Somewhere in the Middle Party.  I tend to be one of these people who can see both sides.  (aka riding the fence, which gives you a very sore arse)  So as I sit in the middle I see that THEY ARE ALL NUTS.  I've had it with Rush and the Bill Mahers of the world.  The hate that is spewed is awful.  I will say the left have the best comedy shows though.  I give them an A+.   I enjoy the Daily's not exactly where I get my political views, but sometimes it does put things in more perspective and just plain funny.  I'm making a plea for the Right to gently, but firmly pull the stick out of their you know whats and come up with something funny. 

We received the bill for my first operation, that was quite funny also.  I believe once we add everything up it would be close to $30,000 if not more.  Then I get depressed do people who do not have health insurance pay for that?  Our company (John and I work for the same company) is self insured.  This means they wrote a check for this amount.  That's a lot on a small company like ours and I'm only one person and this was only the one operation. 

Then there are the social issues swirling around.....birth control, abortion, same sex marriage.  I have opinions on all these, but really don't want to blog about them.  All I will say from a Christian perspective is above anything, God has taught and preached for us to love.  He will do the judging and I'm not worried about the social issues as much as  I am worried about me and the judgement he may have for ME!  We tend to pick out what we view as "sins" and forget God doesn't ask us to judge.  He does tell us to remove the logs/planks out of our own eyes.  

The TV is now off and I'm trying to get back to my happy spot with a computer, coffee and my favorite new addiction Pinterest.  I MUST get that funny bone back!!

Friday, March 9, 2012


Sometimes.... ok a lot of times, I get a little paranoid knowing that there are English teachers reading this blog.  I feel especially bad for the ones that may have tried to teach me everything they knew only to  see I'm butchering the English language. 

Take heart, here is what I learned in 8th grade:    Is, Am, Are, Was, were, be, being, been, has, have had, do, does, did, shall, will, might, should, could.  Everything I learned from Mr. Vanfossen is right there!!  That's right....linking verbs.  I was not a total English loser!  I believe with Mr Vanfossen we learned linking verbs and the Alma Mater. 

I've always been good at spelling, but I still like spell check it's a life saver at times.  The one thing they haven't perfected is for a program that will read an entire document and fix the grammar mistakes.  I love commas.  I have to fight the urge to put a comma at any point a natural breath could be taken.  If you think I am using too many commas, take heart in knowing that there were at least 15 other instances I wanted to use one, but didn't.  Don't even get me started on colons and semi colons, I just throw those in if I'm feeling it. 

One of my most embarrassing moments (there are so many) was at a church ladies bible study.  I was reading out loud and I read the word misled with a long "I".  Example: 

I was misled into thinking this was a good idea. 

When you read that word with a long "I", it's not even a real word.  Everyone in the bible study was gracious enough to let it slide, E X C E P T......the English Teacher and she busted up laughing.  I believe I even argued with her that Misled with a long "I" was indeed a word and that I had heard it before.  Why would I argue with an English Teacher with a masters degree??  To this day, I believe the word should be hyphenated.  If I'm being taken down the wrong path I am being Mis-led.  If someone takes great advantage of you then you have been misled (long I).  Who do I talk to about this? I really think I'm on to something.  (or is that word?)

At any rate, if there are any teachers out there who cringe when they read what I write, and you would like a job correcting grammar, let me know.  Otherwise, I'm just going to continue going as I am.   (is that last sentence even a sentence?) oh I could second guess myself forever!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012


Well well well, The Canton family soooooooooooooo could be a reality show.  I'm sorry to be so crass, but here it was the night before surgery and we get a call from Sarah that she wrecked the car.  (thanking God nobody was hurt and for the first time EVER the car is still drivable) I'm pooping like a goose from whatever liquid bomb they made me drink.  (It was like the fricking bottomless pit of a gator aid bottle.)  John had a couple adult beverages and didn't feel it would be polite to show up at the scene of an accident  smelling like Yuengling.  I have to say I was kind of irritated because I really didn't want to show up at the scene squeezing my butt cheeks together and hoping for the best.  That is not a good plan EVER.

 God really works in funny, sometimes convenient ways.  He placed the wreck right at the end of our road so I dropped John off, came home and did my business. I got a call they needed insurance information, so I left to go drop that off, came home and pooed more and waited on another call. 

While all this is happening, I have a phone that's ringing off the hook and texts coming in that I'm dodging like bullets.... My friend, John's mom, Texts from my friend, my boss, my cousin. and Sarah... Do you ever just want the world to STOP?  Just stop for a quick minute, so you can get off the toilet and catch your breath before the next crisis hits.  Maybe just stop so you can deal with the present crisis.  Had I known this little problem was going to happen less than eight hours away from surgery, I wouldn't have drank the concoction, this crisis would have cleaned me out just fine.  I know I talk about my toilet habits too much, but when nervous I tend  to know.....let loose.  I could have saved my self hours of discomfort of drinking that disgusting stuff had I just known.  God really needs to get a louder voice! (this is actually a joke, he probably has laryngitis from screaming so much and I'm hard of hearing)

I think God gave me extra humor because he said "someday this woman is going to have teenagers that if she doesn't have humor she will harm them or herself." See, he could have given my brother one of my imperfect children for one of his perfect ones........but NOOOOOOOOOOOO we didn't want to upset Roger.  ( Oh I am so kidding, I have to take shots at Roger  every chance I get it's pay back for all those times he beat the crap out of me)  Besides, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, there is not a one in this glorious trio we created that I would give up or do over.  Nope not one.....

We have owned enough cars with three kids to have a small used car lot and an insurance premium that mirrors the national debt. 

Sam had one major wreck and two other mishaps in her own driveway. She had two cars I believe. 

 Sarah, has now had  three wrecks and maimed one deer.  The deer story is kind of funny because she was coming home from a band function at 3am and hit the deer.  She came up to our bedroom and told us what had happened and in her words said "the van only has MINIMAL damage"  To me minimal damage is a broken blinker.  The car ended up being in the shop for approx ten days and the bill was in the thousands (I think)    She has had 5 vehicles. Now in fairness, not all of these cars were totalled out, it's just as soon as you total two cars, we start buying disposable ones. 

 Jonathan, the good son, has had one wreck and one scrape in the school parking lot and 2 vehicles.  He was smart enough that when he wrecked a car, it wasn't his it was his dads.

 This tally of accidents does not include anything we as parents may not have been told.   I hear around the ages of 25 to 30 you start hearing what REALLY went on under the roof of your own house apparently while I was in the bathroom.  Goodness knows, I was in there a lot.

So yea, when parents say their kids are starting to drive I just die a little inside for them.  It does not matter how old they are every time they leave the house I say be careful and they roll their eyes and say OKAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.....oh, this could make me mad, but see I know God is working on the ten kids they are each going to have and they will be paid back many times over........(evil laugh)

Monday, March 5, 2012


I'm back....Not 100% back, but I'm at least back home.  This time pretty much mirrored the last time.  The Aultman hospital staff is top notch and nobody ticked me off.  I love medical people all of them from Dr's to STNA's to the student nurses.  They many times have a thankless job and I just want to give a shout out to all the nice people along the way.  They see a lot and deal with a lot and they do it with grace, patience and professionalism. 

I know I sound like a broken record, but the waiting and anticipation for procedures/operations is still the worst.  This time it was kind of entertaining because while in the QUE waiting for surgery there was a six year old on one side and a 2 year old on the other. They were having the typical, tonsil, adenoids and tube type operations, but this doesn't make it any better if you are the parent.  I loved  that while waiting, my anesthesiologist played with the kids and made them balloon "art" out of the surgical gloves.  I'm sure the parents appreciated it also.  One funny little story is the six year old overheard a surgeon telling an older woman with bad diabetes that they were going to take her big toe off.....he DIVED into that bed and covered his head as though he was going to have to witness it.  It was cute.  I wonder how he will remember that story years from now, when he is recalling it for his kids.  I'm pretty sure it will be worse than it really was.  He will be telling his kids that back in his day, they did amputations right in the waiting room......

As everyone now knows, I'm sure, the surgery was a success and I'm free of cancer.  Now we just have to recuperate for the second time.  These incisions are impressive as far as how far the pain goes.  It truly feels as though he not only cut me horizontally 6-8 inches, but he took the top flap above the incision and STRETCHED it and hooked it on the end of my nose and then the bottom flap he stretched down and hooked it on my big toe.   This, of course made it possible for the Dr to literally climb inside me with a coal miners helmet and football cleats to look around.  I'm just telling you in the most dramatic way possible what it feels like.  I know there are surgeries that are twenty times harder than this believe me I do, but this smarts a little. 

I think that's it for today.  I'm not seeking sympathy....just a nap. 

Friday, March 2, 2012


I'm still in the hospital writing these under the influence of two percocets.These pills make you feel like you could go jump hurdles.
I love love the nurses here.   I had the same rotation of nurses this time as the last time and they all remember me because I'm so nice haha. See Superior Dairy co workers I am nice!!
I'm keeping this short today, but I just once again wanted to thank everyone for all the prayers.  You are all amazing.
Now can everyone please pray that I fart so I can be given real food.  Can you believe they are holding my food as ransom for gas?  How cruel.....
I will write more later......

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