SHADES OF GRAY BOOK REVIEW

I never wanted to admit that I read the trilogy Shades of Gray, but I figure the gig is up when I start Pinning on Pinterest actors who should play the main character in the movie.   Why in the world would a nice middle aged, Christian girl like myself be reading this filth, and more than once I might add?  Yes, I read them each at least twice possibly three times. 

This is how it all began....Someone at work sent me a link of a review that was written by Dr Drew (it was from Fox news)  I read the review and was intrigued.  The author believes this series is very degrading to women.  So I read it, I just wanted to see what the hype was....yes,  I did it only for  research....I DID!!  Personally, I didn't find it any more degrading than a lot of things in this world. 

The main character is a man who is 27 who is a self-made millionaire. (First sign this was a novel/fantasy)  The first thing I did was turn him into oh, I don't know... let's say a man  approx 49 years old who is a millionaire. He meets a young girl who may remain 22.  May to December relationships are fine, but taking the chance that I may end up lusting after a 27 year old at my age is NOT fine.  (double standard I know)  Once I got the characters in their proper age groups I read and read and read.  I didn't put it down until I was finished.  I read all three books in no more than a weeks time.  I was on sick leave at that time so that helped.

For those who may not be familiar it's the story about a man who is into very kinky things.  He has never had a true loving relationship, he has just always been a dominate who took care of his subs financially and sexually, but never emotionally.  The book is NOT about only whips and chains and other kinkery.  There is a love story.  However, every commentary I have read has it all wrong.  They focus way too much on the whips and chains.  One person wrote that women love these books because secretly we want to be hurt or want to do something out of the ordinary. They insinuated that we like to get away from changing diapers and cleaning house.   NO NO NO NO we don't, well yes we do, but we don't want to take a break from this stuff to go get beat in the bedroom.  

I realize men have their fantasies and well so do women.  The old saying is men want to marry a Schoolteacher by day but they want a freak in the sheets at night.  Speaking for myself I want a man who cooks, cleans,and scrubs floors.  To me that's pretty damn sexy. 

This book takes us where our real life doesn't.  Christian Grey is our Knight in Shining Armor.  This girl wants for nothing and I'm not just talking financially.  He meets every need she has, he takes care of her. Even more importantly he loves her with all his heart, mind and soul.   He is willing to sacrifice.  The problem with young girls reading this book isn't the raw sex or the sub/dom relationship, it's in believing that you can change a person.  This is a novel.  It's an X rated Disney Princess story...a fairy tale.  Or as I've heard it referred to....Mommy Porn. 

Sadly I admit, I will be at the midnight premier with three or four of my closest friends.  (and you know who you are so don't deny it!)

NO ANSWERS, ONLY QUESTIONS.....

John and I Just got back from a wonderful vacation.....friends allowed us to use their home in Florida and we just chilled and didn't do much of anything.  I'm not sure I used a complete brain cell in the entire two weeks.  I didn't fret over work, or what was happening at home.  We just took one day at a time with wonderful friends and enjoyed life and laughed a lot!

Then we woke up on Friday to the awful news of the massacre in Colorado.  I wasn't going to watch the news concerning it because I tend to get caught up in the story and the people.  However, as the day progressed there was no ignoring it.  I'm afraid I have not been able to shut my mind off since.  What a world we live in.  All I have are questions and no answers.  Below is my list of questions and if anyone has the answers, please feel free to speak up, because quite frankly I'm at a loss.

Why.....what happened that one individual decided to do this?  What happened?  He just woke up one day and thought this was a good idea?  Why did he turn his apparent brilliance into evil?  What happens that nobody sees this?  Why do we feel the need to have semi automatic weapons or worse?  Why do we feel the need to tell others they can't have the right that is theirs under the constitution of the United States of America, Why don't we put the responsibility where it really should go....on this one individual?  Why when there is a catastrophe like this do we turn on one another?  Why is it Obama's fault or the Republicans fault? Why is the responsibility of the NRA?  Why can you purchase 6000 rounds of ammo over the Internet and not be put on an FBI watch list?  What makes us think if we ban guns, the insane won't find some other form of terrorist weapon?  How did the terrorists of 9/11 pull off crashing four planes within hours, with nothing more than box cutters as their weapons?  ( OK planes were their weapons also, but they got possession of the planes through box cutters) You can make weapons out of various household chemicals.Again I ask....WHY DO WE NEED AUTOMATIC AND SEMI AUTOMATIC WEAPONS!? Why should people like my dad, who loves to hunt, be penalized because some dumb ass did something heinous? Are violent movies to blame? Are violent video games to blame.  How much can we possibly place the blame on outside influences?   What about this kids parents?  Did they know he was crazy?  Did they ever see any signs that he was a danger to society? How do they feel?  Do they feel responsible?   Should they feel responsible?  When your son or daughter does something like this, does a part of you hate them?  How do you find the strength to move on?  To face him again? How do the survivors feel? How do they move on?  How do the families of those who are lost move on?  How do they not let hate consume them? Is forgiveness possible? 

As you see the questions can go on and on.  I have my opinions on some of these questions. Some I'm on the fence about.  We will never live in a sterile world. There will always be crazies.  I believe no amount of regulating is going to eliminate a single crazy person.  They will find a way to spread their carnage.   Too many people have sacrificed their lives for our freedoms.  We should never be too eager to give those rights up.    Laws are made because we have people that need controlled.  When we stop taking personal responsibility, someone else will take responsibility for us.  I prefer to make my own decisions rather than let a government do it for me. 

I feel so terribly sorry for the victims and their families, but I also feel bad for the parents of this boy.  From all accounts so far, he came from a "normal" family.  They must be devastated, worried, scared, mad, and feeling awful that a part of them could do such an evil act.   All I know is my God is big....bigger than any of this and I believe one day there will be no sorrow, no pain, no tears, no sickness and no evil.  We will one day live in eternity with only joy and happiness in our hearts. 

More later......

WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME

When I think back to childhood memories, there is no doubt mom really did the dirty work when it came to child rearing.  I never ever ever remember my dad yelling at me, scolding me, or spanking me.  I do remember him sticking up for me.....a lot! 

I've mentioned in past blogs that my grades in school were less than ideal.  I thought school was a social event, not a scholarly one.  I lived for recess and lunch.  In eighth grade I was getting D's and F's in American History.  The teacher wanted to see my parents.  I think mom had finally had enough of my stupidness and made my dad go with her to school.  Well, right off the bat the the teacher, who was a man all of 4 feet 11 inches, pissed my dad off.  He had Statistics on the board as to what percent of students were getting A's B's C's D's and F's.  There were a lot of kids who were in the D and F range.  After the teacher had ranted and raved about how stupid this particular class was my dad said "well, you either have a lot of stupid kids, or you have a lot of stupid teachers trying to teach them"  BOOOYAAAAA CHA CHING!  Dad got him with that one. 

When I had my wreck at the age of 16 ( I rear ended someone) it was my dad who took me to court.  The judge said "so MS. Tedrick, how many feet are you to stay back from the car in front of you?  What is your assured clear distance"  My answer was "two car lengths"   The grumpy judge said " I asked you how many feet!"  at that point my dad spoke up and told the judge he wouldn't know the answer to that question even at his age.  Mr Judge didn't like that.....I don't remember his exact response, but he was grumpy.

Dad was not the modern father of today, in fact he was pretty old school.  The lessons he taught me were quiet subtle lessons.  No lecturing required. 

Things my Dad taught me:

1.  Never say you hate church
2.  Fart is not a nice word
3.  Never ever use the Lord's name in vain
4.  Be nice
5.  Sty's on your eyes happen because I obviously peed in the middle of the road.  (WTH?)
6.  Coffee mixed with toast is a meal.  (as in they are mixed together in a bowl...ewwwww)
7.  Work without complaining.  (I'm a work in progress)
8.  Taught me how to drive stick shift by handing me the keys in Downtown Columbus.
9.  Patience
10.  Be kind to others
11.  To know what channel Fox News is on regardless of which provider you used:  cable, Dish, or direct TV
12.  To love others even if they are democrats.
13.  A love for Cats
14.  Enjoy a good party
15.  It's best if you don't wear a ring at work (his wedding band got caught and tore his finger off)
16. No Bobbie, that hang nail on your finger will not make your finger fall off (well I was only 4!)
17.  If you are at someone else's house and need to use the bathroom, do not be too to embarrassed to use it.  Don't try to make it home.....You just might not make it.  ( you know what I mean dad)
18.  For the big decisions, wait until your mother gets home.
19.  Most of all I learned that a person doesn't have to continually say the words I love you to be loved.  It was rarely said, but definitely guaranteed and I never once doubted it. 


I thank God for both my parents, as in all good relationships, they off set one another.  If mom was against me, I could always count on dad being for me.  It's the same way with John and I....When I'm losing my cool, he's usually holding it together and plays the protective role.  That works both ways.  I find myself being the mediator when he's losing his sh**.  Maybe this is why God set up this whole parenting thing as a partnership.  All  know is I would never ever want to have done it alone and I'm glad I was fortunate enough to have two great parents!

Happy Fathers day to all!

SAD BEACH DAY 6

Geez, what a way to end a vacation.  Sam got a call this morning from the kennel that was keeping her Great Dane Mickey, that Mickey had died.  They said he had a seizure....the vet believes his stomach probably twisted and that killed him. We don't know what to believe and having an autopsy on an animal wasn't something we were going to do.  So losing Mickey just pretty much set the pace for the day. 

One of the most touching things was while Sam was crying, Taylor looked at Sarah and me and said "Seeing mama crying breaks my heart"  and she put her hand to her heart.   That made me cry.  I guess compassion starts early in life.  There is a lesson in everything I guess.

So, John and I thought we would take Taylor away from the sadness for a bit and take her to the Aquarium.  It was OK, but nothing spectacular.  We saw fish, sharks, sting rays etc.  Taylor got her picture taken with a real life mermaid whose name was also Taylor.

Later on that evening we went to our last dinner at Cagney's.  Cagney's is famous for their prime rib.  Jon and Sarah decided to live large and got a fillet and lobster tail.  Sam and John had the prime rib and I just got a fillet.  Prices are what you would expect to see for a good steak and prime rib place. 

Other than today, this vacation was a wonderful week.  There were no sibling fights (that I'm aware of) Taylor was a joy to watch scamper around the beach and the weather turned out 50/50.  Now it's time to pack up our mess (poor poor maid)  I'm proud to say that there is no structural damage. 

RIP Mickey.  You were a loving, doppy, klutzy, ginormous dog that will be missed

REST IN PEACE MICKEY!

BEACH DAY 5

Well Thursday FINALLY the sun came out.  We were so so happy.  We went out around 10 am and most did not come back in until seven that evening.  We skipped going out to dinner just so every ounce of sunshine could be absorbed.  Taylor and I came in around five because she said she wanted a nap.  I never thought I would hear those words come out of her mouth. 

Not much to report except, sand, surf, sun and fun!




We planted us a tator in the sand. 



We swam.





We made new friends.  This little girl wanted her picture taken so Tay would remember her FOREVER.

 Only one more day of fun in the sun....it's been great! 


 

BEACH DAY 4

So I've done the non rain rain dance, prayed to the Stop the Rain god's, tried playing mind games with Mother Nature and nothing seems to be bringing out the sun. 

By day 4, I have to say I'm not happy.  We only have two more days to pull this thing out and I'm hoping for a little sympathy from whoever is in charge.  I really haven't bothered God with my prayers because well, I just think there are a lot more important things for Him to worry about than a family of 6 having sun at the beach. ( like keeping our deployed soldiers safe in their desert of hell, Especially Benjamin Soehnlen)  We will just ride it out and make the best of whatever comes up. 

Speaking of Ben, We really do miss him being with us.  Though, the odds of somone being arrested would probably have increased, he would have been the life of this party, seeing as we are so so boring! 

Today, Sam and I went to the outlet malls.  It was kind of cool to just get out and spend a little time in shopping therapy.  Taylor now believes it's her birthday because she got so many presents.

Let's see she got the dress, matching shoes, Prince and princess dolls and a Belle play set.  Besides being able to swim, what more could a girl ask for. 

Then the most amazing thing happened.  The sun started coming out.  We decided to skip dinner (OK we never skip a meal, but we ordered in) and just enjoy the sun.  WOO HOO!!

As for dinner:  WE ordered from the BBQ House in North Myrtle Beach.  Their deal was 1 pint pulled pork, Pint Cole slaw, Pint green beans, two orders of hush puppies, four buns and a gallon of sweet tea.....all for $23. 

Forecast says Mostly Sunny tomorrow YEAHHHHHHHH!

BEACH DAY 3

Day three was much like beach day two. Cloudy and chilly.  As you all can tell by my Goddess like tan, I love the sun.  Well, OK.....maybe not.  I do like the sun.  I was really hoping for more sunny days, but you know what?  You get what you get.  It's still uber relaxing and away from the routine of life so I"m choosing not to complain too much. 

What were the highlights on Day 3? 

We ate....yes when all else fails make a good dinner reservation. We ate at a place called Umberto's at Barefoot landing.  I would give it 3-4 stars.  The side dishes were family style.  Your first side dish was some sort of beans.  I don't know how to explain it except to say it was like bean soup without much soup.  I didn't care for it.  Then we got a cucumber, tomato and onion salad with an Italian dressing on it.  In my opinion this would have been much better just being a regular salad with the dressing on it.  I'm not a tomato person, but the cucumbers were delish and I loved the dressing. 

For the main entree John and I chose a twofer again.  It was a strip steak with two ginormous pork chops on top.  There were also green pepper, onions, mushrooms and red potatoes.

The pork chops and steak were at least two inches thick.  I had half the steak and a couple bites of pork chops.  Amazingly enough the pork chops were more tender than the steak, but all had a great flavor. 

After dinner we had ice cream and a carousel ride.  Then as seems to be the norm, the sun breaks out in the evening, giving you the impression that the next day is going to be gorgeous sunny. We will see....