Wow, we've been into this new year two weeks now. I have to tell you for the first time EVER, the holidays were MISERABLE. I have probably mentioned more than once that I just couldn't get into them this year. No offense to anyone, but everything just felt forced and felt like we were just doing it because it was the thing to do. Did I mention I hate divorce? I hate that we have to take a day such as Christmas and divide it up to where it practically lasts an entire month. Oh I could write an entire blog on this subject alone but it would only hurt people's feelings. I swear I always say I would like to just go away for Christmas. However, all that would mean is everyone would have to see us ahead of time so we still would not avoid the rat race. Yes, when I think about Christmas I'm so glad it's over and have already started pre hating it for next year. I need an attitude adjustment badly.
The Sickness we had in our house didn't help my ho ho ho any. It started started December 10th and lasted until this week. This last monday was the first day that my wheezing and coughing seems to be stifled. It was the first ailment to present itself and the last to leave. Believe me there were other ugly symptoms in there which I will spare you the details. It went through the entire family. So in between being sick and trying to make sure everyone bought into my Merry Christmas acting job, life pretty much sucked.
However, as I was thinking of some New Year's Resolutions, I knew I was going to avoid the "diet" that has been my resolution for 30 years and something tells me that ain't going to happen this year either. What I would like to be though is a deeper more spiritual person. A kinder, gentler Bobbie who tries to understand that maybe my way of thinking isn't always right. Maybe, just maybe, the very person I am judging is coming from somewhere God has chosen not to take me on my journey. (although, he's taking me on plenty of journeys of my own) In fact God, my lesson is learned I will have more sympathy and empathy for others, I don't need anymore journeys.....thanks anyway!
I'm really into the "random acts of kindness" movement. Someone said to me "There are people, you just can't help" I don't believe that. There are people you may not change. There are people that may always be who they are, but it's not our job to change them, it's our job to love them. So,how about this....everyday let's make it a point to say or do one encouraging thing. It can be as simple as holding a door open for someone (and no old bat don't ask me if I want a tip....a simple thank you would be sufficient.) See, this kinder gentler thing is not going to be easy for me. It's easy to be nice and caring to people who are nice and caring to us, but God said we have to love our enemies. Ugh....here goes nothing....or everything.
My other resolution is to simply stretch my mind. I love to read, but I find myself reading biography's about other peoples lives, or love stories. I need to start reading something that may not normally appeal to me. I have a friend or two who likes to read holocaust stories. I just can't do it...I can't. I know it's real, I know awful things happened and I just can't find my self wanting to read about it. So, give me some suggestions of a couple non-violent good books. I'm going to try to read six books outside my comfort zone to try to stretch my feeble little mind.
What are your resolutions this year? Anything out of the ordinary from other past years? I just need to be a better person. I can feel my aneurysm acting up already.....it could be a long year.
