THE ORIGINAL CHURCH LADIES

Over the past 6 years or so, I have searched for a church.  I have no idea what I was looking for, but I kept coming back to the church that I truly consider family.  Just like the Walmarts and banks of America, there are BIG churches that have it all.  They have Starbucks and Sandwich shops in their churches, they have bands, they have great speakers, they have many many things that can help many people.  There is nothing wrong with this, but personally I really love our church that is truly like family.  Last year when I had my surgeries and my brush with cancer, I received so many cards and prayers from everyone it touched my heart.  To know that there was a group of people praying and thinking about me, was just wonderful. 

So my disclaimer before I go any further:  Though I am laughing, and though I find our older ladies funny, these people have worked diligently for the Lord for many many years.  They have kept our church going.  I worry for our next generation, because that means me.  The thought of me planning a spaghetti dinner scares me to death.  There either needs to be a crowd of 700 or less than ten because I have no idea how to measure spaghetti.  Steak supper?   Nope, I can't make gravy to save my butt either.

So the story begins:  Wednesday night I went to choir practice.  We have 13 members tops when we all show up.  Only 3 of us are NOT retired.  We younger ones come in with one leg dragging behind us because we had just been beat up at work all day. (mind you the Sr.'s have done their time with work and holding a church together)  Speaking only for myself.  It's all I can do to work all day, get dinner on the table and clean it up.  Once I'm home I DO NOT want to leave.  I may only be 49 3/4's, but I act like I'm 85 and no driving privileges due to night blindness and cataracts.

Anyway, someone died and the women of our church were planning their funeral dinner.  All the "elders" were looking over the donation list and pondering and thinking, and writing and erasing, and pondering some more.  Janet said " well, I suppose I could go to the market after I walk at the mall"   I just started laughing.....Market?  I haven't heard that word since this little piggy went to "market".  One by one these dear ladies were pouring over the list of needs and debating and deciding what they would donate. 

I was sitting between Shirley and Janet. 

Shirley:  Judy is going to go to Sam's and pick up whatever is left to get on the list
Janet: Oh well, then just have her get mine.
Shirley:  Okay.

Then I noticed that Janet starting making a list of what she signed up for.  Just as my own mother would, I felt the need to stick my nose in. (I was mostly concerned about too many baked beans showing up)  "Janet, didn't you just tell Shirley to have Judy go ahead and get the baked beans and buns you said you would get?"  Janet replies, "Yes, but I've changed my mind, I'm writing myself a note so I don't forget"  So, I turn to Shirley and said, "Janet changed her mind, please don't get the baked beans or you will have enough baked beans to level Mineral City if everyone eats them"  This banter went back and forth for 15 minutes.  At the end of 15 minutes I could tell you all of their schedules for the next two days.  We had mall walking, market going, Sam's trip and a deadline of Friday morning to get that ham in the oven.   Suddenly, I was glad I work because these people are way too busy. 

Meanwhile, Our token bass (nickname Pinky) chimed in and wondered how much we were going to charge.  Shirley, kind of gave him the look and told him that they don't charge, but normally the family donates a bit to the cause.  Pinky said, well I was talking to them today and told them we charge $250.  I didn't realize they let men on the women's committee, but apparently Pinky is the self-appointed business manager.  I think if they stick with him, they can make a profit on funeral dinners.  Mother daughter banquets will now have a cover charge at the door also.

With all this being said, they did make me chuckle, but it also made me go through the list and think about who's going to follow up?  Who's going to follow in the footsteps of those ahead of us?  They are pretty big shoes to fill, they have worked hard and kept the church moving forward.  I don't have many talents or gifts.  I can wash dishes, but don't ask me to plan a dinner.  Please please please, don't make me do bible school...I'm not a kid person.  Decorate the alter?? no way!  I can play the piano.....people don't believe me when I tell them I fake it, but trust me I fake it.  My former piano teacher would be cringing if she knew how many notes I'm skipping over.  As long as you can hear the melody and keep the tempo moving that's all I care.  April 1 there is a women's ministry board meeting to plan the next year....am I ready to commit?  Has anyone ever been kicked out of the group, because I'm thinking I could be the first!  More importantly, I think I have a lot to learn and should probably start training right away.  Let's start with gravy making perhaps.