Saturday, April 6, 2013


Is it me, (naw, it couldn't be) or have we become a bunch of pansies?  It may be the media or the World Wide Web's fault, but we are getting more and more sensitive when we should be trying to get tougher and tougher. 

I just read the headlines and I think what in the hell is going on?  A little boy (3rd grader I believe) got suspended because he ate his pop tart into the shape of a gun.  He was actually aiming to make a mountain but it turned out to be more gun shaped.  he pointed it at someone and said bang bang and the teacher ended up making the mountain (out of a mole hill)  I really want to believe that there is more to this story.    I can relate to this kid and his artsy failure.  I was trying to make pants one time in Home Economics and ended up with shorts.  The teacher told me to go get a scrap piece of material and stupid me cut the leg off the pants I was making and now I had shorts or perhaps pants for a one legged woman.  Anyway I digress....  WTH......Had I been the teacher I simply would have told Timmy to plant his ass in his seat and don't choke on that pop tart.  I guess where the kid failed was he said bang bang and there is zero tolerance.  Well I have zero tolerance for people who only think in black and white terms and don't use their common sense.  There is a lot of gray in this world ( please see paragraph 5)

That same week another third grade boy ( third graders must be nothing but trouble) took cupcakes to school for his birthday and they had little toy soldiers on them...yes the ones with guns.  The administration made them take off the little green soldiers or throw them away or something.  Now, in light of recent events with the school shootings, I will agree that mom probably had a small lapse in judgement, but come on really?  Have you ever been nagged to death by a 8 year old while at the same time his baby brother is crawling  under the kitchen sink trying to drink bleach and the middle child is hanging out the upstairs window trying to propel herself to the tree right outside her window just so she can say she can.  Yes, I have been there!  At that moment your mom instincts kicks in and you prioritize.  The bleach trumps everything because it could mean jail time,  then the possible broken neck of the propeller takes second priority because that could also mean jail time,  and then kid number one can have his damn soldiers on his cupcakes.      Just get OUT TO THE BUS BEFORE YOU MISS IT!!  What mother would even dream that the Soldier cupcakes would make the national news?    Kids definitely know the art of distraction and apparently so does the media.

Today we blame video games on people going out and killing people.  Did anyone ever watch the Roadrunner?   You talk about violence.  That Coyote was mean and violent. I believe he was also a big bully.  I never ever heard anyone say of Jeffrey Dahmer..."gee he must have watched too much roadrunner."  He may, of course, have watched too much Julia Child's cooking shows.  ( get it, he ate people.....OK that was in bad taste, NO PUN INTENDED LOL  I'm cracking myself up)  Speaking of thin skinned that last joke  may offend someone.  I can't help it.  I can't live the rest of my life worried about everything.  I do try to be sensitive, but sometimes I just can't think of everything that may offend someone because just about anything offends someone.  Just typing that run on sentence made me tired.

The newest offense today is where Target has named a color in the plus size section as being Manatee Gray while in the wee size one section the same color is simply Dark Heather Gray.  Sigh......where does it end. Yes, there are fat people who are offended because I guess they also just want to be Dark Heather Gray.  I mean what next Elephant Skin Gray?  Beached Whale Black? Who the hell is Heather anyway?   Oh, why oh why can't I have the job of making up color names.  We could have some real fun and pretty much offend everyone.  Are you short?  How about Midget Mud Wrestling Brown?  Missing a finger and trying to buy gloves in a certain color?  How about trying our Digit-O-Missing red. (I chose a handicap that my father has as not to offend this not offending thing is tiring) Yes, someone at Target was having a blast the day they came up with Manatee Gray, but well played whoever you are, well played! I love it!

Now lighten up EVERYONE!  Timmy wasn't going to hurt you with his pop tart, Soldier Boy isn't going to be a mass murderer just because he likes to play cops and robbers or soldiers,  and Target is just being plain old funny!!  Let it be!  Get a back bone and laugh at your self a little.  If you don't laugh at yourself someone else will.

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