Monday, January 30, 2012

Search Committee

In my last post we talked a bit about second wives.  I mentioned my moms contempt for dad's next wife.  Mom is kind of territorial of what she worked her butt off to get.  I on the other hand, figure what the hell.....

As a side note, my dad's dad got remarried at the ripe age of 85.  (someone may need to correct that number, but it's close) I have no idea why you would do that, but maybe he wanted to make an honest woman out of her. (I mean could they? Did they? let's move on less I digress) I may also need to note that they got a divorce at the ripe age of 90 or something like that also.  I think it's cute.  The children that had to clean up that mess, probably didn't find it so cute.

John and I have joked many many times about his next wife.  I could not be more serious when I say I could TOTALLY pick her.  I'm pretty sure I have met her. Maybe I haven't met the actual woman, but I have met the type.  As far as personality goes she is witty, yet not the center of attention.  She is in no way bossy or controlling.  She does not need to be a big talker.  Probably most important she just needs to be chill.  He is not going to want someone who is going to fight with him or find fault with the kids. He would appreciate if she would mow the grass, he seems to point those women out to me when he sees them.   Physically, and I'm proof of this, John does not like skinny women.  He likes a woman with a badonkadonk.  Yes, he's an ass man.  He's the guy to ask if you need to ask "do these jeans make my butt look big?"

I have formed a committee for the Wife Search.  If anyone saw my facebook picture of my friends who helped me pick out a couch, well, that is is the search committee for John.  These women all have hearts of Gold.  Shelly, thinks everyone is a "DOLL" so we need to watch her choices a little bit.  If Terri searches for a woman like she searches for different fabrics to suit a couch, John will be stylin'.  Judy, will be the one who takes the woman out for a drink and asks her what her intentions are.  She will make sure number two is the real deal. (as I learned Saturday, she is NOT afraid to say FO!!)  Jan, is kind of like Shelly, she pretty much likes careful. Jan can, however, make sure the spiritual part is in order.  I'm not sure John wants to go Catholic (no offense, it's the same God just he's not good at kneeling), but she can at least give them a Christianity test.   There are no men on the committee because well, I just don't see a need. 

On a bit more serious note, what I DO NOT WANT is this:  I don't want my kids fighting with number two.  I want them to realize that life goes on.  Nobody is trying to replace me.  Dad deserves a good life after me.  The relationship he has with number two may not mirror what we had.  He may do things that I could never get him to do, or perhaps build her a new house with the master bath I always wanted or that killer kitchen  (this will make me flip over in my grave :))  Life changes, life turns, life goes on.  In an upcoming blog, I may write her a little SOP ( Standard Operating Procedure) for handling the three of you.  You are all so unique and different I think she would appreciate the help.  Let's just all get along and be nice.

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