Harder Than It Seems

Well, yesterday I kind of poked fun at the professionals and their delivery of bad news.  Today I have no choice but to poke fun at MY delivery of bad news.  After getting the news, one of the very first things I thought about was the order in which I would tell people.  The one advantage we have over the professional is we kind of know our audience.  I knew the ones I probably needed to be more sensitive with and the ones I could kind of joke my way through....Now I know texting isn't exactly the best way to let people know, but........Here's how it went down with John:

ME:  Call me when you get a break
JOHN:  What's wrong?
ME:  Cancer
John: Are you ok?

Then an hour later when he had a break from work, he called and we discussed.  No theatrics, no crying, just the facts.  (that's how we roll)  John and I are opposites on so so much, BUT, are cores are the same.  We are relatively laid back, not high energy and can enjoy quiet.  God made a good match for me when he made this marriage.  We now kiss goodbye a lot more and we have upped our I love You's by at least 50%.   

The second person I told, was my oldest daughter Samantha.  I had already arranged to pick her up and take her and Taylor to lunch so this worked out pretty well.  Samantha is my tenderheart.  I knew this would probably be the hardest.  I was not very elegant in my delivery.  "ok, I don't want you to worry yourself over this, but they told me today I have cancer"  I'm not sure exactly how she felt, but from my view I may as well have kicked her in the gut.  It actually brought back a memory of when I was a very young mother.  I had just had Sarah.  Sam was 15 months old and Sarah was a newborn.  My mom told me she was going to go to the Dr and have this "thing" on her leg looked at, to her it looked like cancer.  I was petrified.  I still needed my momma (still do) I would not have wanted to  raise 3 kids without her, I just wouldn't.  I believe girls need their mom's even if it's just to know they are there.  Anyway, Sam and I hugged, cried, and assurred ourselves that everything will be just fine.  On we go to lunch. 

Next was Sarah:

Sarah is more kick ass.  Though she was very sympathetic and didn't enjoy hearing it, she still had the " you are a Tedrick/Hall/Kent woman you can kick this things ass"  We spent the rest of the afternoon, making bad jokes.  I also deemed her solely responsible for the medical MJ ( you know Mary Jane, Weed, or as old people call them Marijuana Cigarettes)  that is  to be obtained after chemo and started for nausea.  (this is a joke....maybe) What I can say about Sarah, is she is my one child who will be able to change her parents depends and  do it with a smile on her face.  She will be our personal nurse someday. 

Because Jonathan works odd hours and a lot of them, I didn't get to have a face to face with him, and he is THANKING GOD he got to avoid that mess.  I believe he totally prefers the social media network for this type of thing.   He did post on my facebook "way to keep your head up mom, I love U"  enough said. 

Next was my mom:

ok, this one could go either way.  It started out by me saying "ok, now I don't want you freaking out".  (This phrase always helps the other person feel so comfortable.)  My mom has her own struggle with a different type of cancer and health issues, I really don't want to burden her with my problems.  The thing I know is she will pray.  As long as my mom is on this earth I can KNOW there is at least one person praying for me everyday.

My Boss:  (this is my personal favorite)

I had already texted him the news and now he had been digesting it for a bit his text went like this:

Boss:  I really think you need to check out all the University Hospitals and Cleveland Clinic for their expertise, these people are on the cutting edge of what's new and advanced out there.
ME:  Ok, I will exhaust all possibilities.
Boss:  Are you researching now?
ME: Yes, I just googled Costco Caskets
Boss:  NOT FUNNY
ME:  SORRY!  ( though Sarah and I think it's hilarious)
Me:  Ok, I will research

This was probably an example of someone not liking my humor. 

So it goes, the news is out, you think about it, you ponder it, you guess, you think of a lot of questions and there is nobody around to answer them.  Your mind goes from one end of the spectrum to the other.  We now have an unwanted guest in our house.   My prayer warriors have been assigned their duties and now we just remember "be still and know that I am God"