Friday, February 3, 2012

Hair Day

Can someone tell me why my parents are obsessed with my hair?  My mom has never liked my hair and my dad always wanted me to look like a boy.  A couple days ago we had lunch and somehow my roots came up in the conversation.  I am wayyyyy past due for a color job there is no doubt about it, but I didn't want to spend the money until I found out if Chemo was going to rip all the hairs from my head anyway. 

I will take a poll later, but IF and that is IF, chemo is going to steal my hair, I think I will opt for a wig.  I think cancer can probably steal a lot from you the way it is, I don't want to let it get the upper hand by making me feel ugly.  I see women who go bald and wear a scarf and that's OK too.  I don't think there are any rules to this game.  For me personally, when I see a woman bald or with a scarf I think of cancer, death, sickness etc. However, I also see a lot of strength, courage and someone who is fighting hard.  I think I want to mask that for myself.  I want to play a mind game with cancer.  I want to look as healthy as I can and fake it as long as possible. 

Now about that wig.  I think I will approach it like I did the couch.  We will make a girls day out of it.  I want something as close to my own style as possible.  I think it will need to be synthetic hair because real hair wigs cost a fortune.  My mom and dad will choose the one where I look like Liza Minnelli.  Shelly mentioned lady Gaga.  However, being the conservative I am......I just want to look like me.

I don't even know that chemo is in the future, this is just what my mind does when I think about the future.  I'm a planner by occupation and by nature.  As the day gets closer to hearing the verdict  my mind is all over the place.  Lately, because I feel so well, I think everything is OK.  I visualize the doctor saying, "it looks like we got it and we will just watch it for awhile."  Anyway, I'm off to get my hair done today.  I'm approaching 49 and still listening to my momma :)  She wants me to look extra good for the oncologist on Tuesday.

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