Wednesday, February 8, 2012

The Long Story

Yesterday was nerve wracking.  What I think I noticed  for the first time in 26 years of marriage, is that John talks when he's nervous ( a lot)  I prefer quiet.  Quite honestly, and here is total honesty, I was truly trying not to crap myself and that takes concentration.  It's hard to concentrate when someone is yapping.  When I get nervous my stomach becomes upset (thanks mom).  I love him though, and it's just how different people cope. 

I'm not sure what I was thinking.  I think I have a lot to learn.  I thought MAYBE the doctor did his home work.  It was kind of disappointing to realize he was just opening the folder for the first time and reading the notes from the surgery, looking for the pathology report and CT results.  When he said he didn't have the pathology report I was pissed.  I wasn't mad at this Dr. I was mad at the situation.  How can we be a month post op and no pathology report?  I am seriously naive because I really thought  if I were a Dr. I would look ahead to my appointments the day ahead and study.  Then I realize,  Dr's are dealing with packed schedules.  This isn't a job where they have a whole lot of time between surgeries and seeing patients.  I just hate feeling like a number.  I better get used to it. 

I already had a few words with the nurse when she said "bottoms off."  Why?  We are here to get answers. (my biggest concern is I hadn't shaved my legs)    He can get a look when we get our information.  Apparently holding your goods hostage, doesn't get you anywhere.  As Dr. H was palpitating my abdomen he literally grabbed a love handle and said, "when we take your ovaries out, we can take care of this also"  Holy crap, I think I'm getting a  two for one.  A tummy tuck, ovary and lymph node removal for one low price.  He said it twice so I think he was serious.  I told him to please take the breasts also, I would like to trade my DD's for a small B. He didn't laugh.  Oh well.

We talked about the blood in the urine.  He asked a lot of questions, but other than that didn't seem to come to any conclusions or want to look further.  I will call my other Dr. tomorrow on that one and see if she can follow up on the Cleveland Clinic Report. 

Yep, I think this cancer blog will last awhile.  I can tell this is going to go on for months.  It tells me that I'm going to have to whip out my gonads and be persistent, bossy, and probably a bitch.  It's not the way I want to be, but it seems if I don't stick up for myself I just may die.

I already told you what we don't know, but here is a re-cap:  We don't know what type of cancer, grade or stage of cancer. We just know it's Sarcoma.

We do know, that at this moment other organs are clean.  There is a small lymph that he would like to biopsy and a small something on the lung.  ( he wasn't overly concerned)

We know that In March, I will have another surgery which will remove the ovaries, lymph nodes, and I guess he is throwing in  a complimentary tummy tuck.  Lucky me.

1 comment:

  1. The tummy tuck won't be complimentary.. that's for sure. They already have the room and the anesthesiologist so that just becomes overtime. They'll charge you for the plastic surgeon to remove any excess skin beyond just what would be covered by the ovary excision. Yes, medicine has become a menu and you can have all you want, even a bundle deal like cable, as long as you work it out with the doc and it's coded properly for insurance.

    All jobs, even doctors and lawyers, are business people like you and I. if you can wrap your head around that one, you can negotiate the system with ease. Just overworked people trying to get away with as little as possible. Even the good ones are trying to fit it all in. Keep all that in mind and go be the glorious bitch that inspires us all.

    I'd rather be calling you bossy for the next 20 years than be saying "remember how nice she was" 2 years from now.